Editorial, Game, Nintendo, Switch

Bait and Switch: Don’t be a Sucker – 17 Reasons Nintendo Kind of Hates You

There are so many reasons not to give Nintendo your money tomorrow. Let’s enumerate some of them.

  1. Be honest. You are buying this to play Zelda. If you are buying this to play Zelda, you already bought the Wii U to play the new Zelda. Play it on your Wii U. Because:
  2. If you buy the Switch for Zelda, you will have bought 2 consoles this generation based on the promise of this single game. And you’ll have had a bait-and-Switch pulled on you–and done been suckered, my friend.


  1. There’s No Virtual Console at launch.
  2. It is unclear you will be able to transfer your existing content to the new Virtual Console whenever it shows up.
  3. No online playability at launch. And Nintendo doesn’t want to tell you yet what will be available a few months from now. Because, it’s not like you are spending $400 Canadian (300 American base currency units) on the thing, and might like to know what the thing you are buying will be capable of.
  4. No enticing launch titles beyond The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild. Seriously. The next big games aren’t coming out for at least a few months. And:
  5. The next big two first party games from Nintendo are basically ports of Wii U games, and so is Breath of the Wild. Mario Kart 8 for the Switch is a direct port from the Wii U, and Splatoon 2 is basically Splatoon with some extra features. But really the same game.
  6. Nintendo is trying to force you to buy the new console by killing all first party content for the Wii U after Breath of the Wild. Nintendo is trying to force you to upgrade mid-console generation by gating off all future Nintendo IP. And this despite the fact that the WII U is only 4.5 years old, and is a pretty good system, and they could certainly put Splatoon 2 on that system, and touch up Mario Kart 8 with whatever extra modes they are throwing on the Switch version.
  7. They pulled this with the NEW 3DSXL—adding the c-stick to make it hard to play newer games that will include its functionality in their mechanics on the older 3DSs and gating content. You cannot get Super Nintendo games on the VC on the 3DS unless you have the NEW 3DS. So, “hint, hint” says the red capped Italian man in the alley…
  8. Speaking of the New 3DS, that thing is sold with 2 different screens. One is better than the other. You will pay the same price for both. And there is no way to check via UPC code, or anything else, which one you are buying when you pick one up.
  9. If the Switch doesn’t sell so good, how long do you think it will be before they burn you on this system as well? Nintendo basically abandoned the Wii U after Super Mario Maker in 2015—less than 3 years after launch, and began to focus on the Switch (then known as the NX). This is not an entirely  idle concern.
  10. Related to some things I said above: Anemic 3rd party support. If playing Skyrim on the Switch at some point in the future has you really excited, I don’t know that there is much that we can do for you. If you have a PC, or an Xbox One, or an Xbox 360, or a Playstation 4, or a Playstation 3, you can already play this game, and likely have if it’s the sort of thing you’re at all interested in on the Switch.
  11. At this point one might want to point out all the games the Switch will have from indie developers. And yeah, that’s great. But the same point I made about Skyrim basically applies here—they will be available on other consoles and PC, if they are not already. And you likely already own a system or PC you can play them on, if you want them.
  12. Anemic third party support wouldn’t be so bad if the first party offerings were strong, but as I’ve noted above, they really aren’t. There’s Splatoon 2 and Mario Kart 8 out relatively soon, which sure, if you are into those, and then the new GTA Mario during the ‘holidays’ late this year, or early next year. Nintendo has not shared whether there are new Metroid, or any other prime first party games in the works. There will be a Pokémon game ‘Late 2017’. Lots of people like that. Here’s a complete list of everything confirmed. And most of it is coming much later this year. (This doesn’t hold if you are really into Arms—and if you are, I wish I had a console to sell you on Saturday on Ebay, for like double the cost of the thing.)
  13. Because you won’t be finding one of these things in store tomorrow. I was just at an EB Games yesterday afternoon (with Steve, actually). They will have 5 available over and above pre-orders. Yep. 5. One cannot help but think that we may be facing under-stocking and shortages like those we saw with the Nintendo Classic Mini, which after months, is still not yet rectified.
  14. The hidden costs of this thing are not insubstantial. The Switch only has 32 gigs of internal storage. So you are buying an SD card to expand that. You will need a carrying case. You will likely need a charging joy con holder/controller, which is not included in the box with the Switch. And frankly, if you are playing this thing at home, you will want their pro-controller, and that will be damned near $100 Canadian. And you will need a portable charger if you want to take that thing anywhere, because the battery life is about 3 hours if you are playing anything remotely processor demanding. So, expect to pay somewhere between 500 and 600 dollars Canadian to set that thing up to play it the way you want to.
  15. And the Joy-Cons don’t quite work.

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